krispy kremes and the killer

In high school, I couldn't get a date to save my life.
Every girl wanted to be my friend. It was like I was the gay male friend to the straight girl. Pathetic.
Finally...through a friend of a friend, I managed to get set up for a date. All I had to do was drive six hours on the nation's darkest highway. So, I packed up the Datsun 200SX and left Camelot Trailer Park for Memphis.
All I can remember now about the date was the drive from the girl's house to the hotel. Don't get excited. the only action at the hotel was dancing to forgettable hits of the 80's. It was a double date. I really cannot remember who the passengeres were. Scary. I do remember when the 200SX broke down miles away from our destination.
It was of course the days before cell phones. Fortunately, we were directly across from a Krispy Kreme. After explaining to the lovely counter ladies my predicament, they directed me to the wall phone in the back. I was so caught up in the embarassment of the 200SX's break down, it took me a few minutes to recognize my good fortune. The wall phone in the back was located next to the cooling segment of the doughnut making process. So, I am on the phone with AAA snatching up hot ones. They are were really hot. It was a productive phone call, I arranged for the tow truck to pick up the 200SX and downed a half a dozen classic glazed doughnuts. I returned to the passengers with a severe sugar high and third degree tongue burns.
AAA took the car away and a cab was called to take us to the hotel. We pull up to the hotel and I pay the driver. As, I open the car door there is a huge man waiting to take our cab. I look up and recognize that it's Jerry Lee Lewis. I tell the cab driver but he is clueless. In this moment of serendipity, I stand up a proudly exclaim, "goodness gracious Jerry Lee...how you doing?"
The killer doesn't miss a step. He gives me a bear hug and says, God bless you son...you are here just in the nick of time!"
He hops in and the cab drives away.

clay

MILF pt2...GG tres jolie

Between the ages of 2 and 12, I lived in a trailer park named Camelot. The aristocracy of the tony suburb Hill River had tried for years to rezone Camelot into the next municipality, but a grandfather clause would not allow it. Camelot was safe and cheap. It was popular with young single girls in their 20's and families just scrapping by.

Two of my friends, Jado and Slyvester, and I spent our endless days building forts, vandalizing and peeping. We were never bored. For me there were two MILFs that lead the pack.

Gayle Berger was a petite blond with just theright propotrtions...picture a blend of Stevie Nicks and Chertl Ladd, What more could a child of the 70's ask for. She loved to sunbathe in the front yard and it being Alabama her season lasted from early April to late September. My bedroom had ideal sight lines and promoted inverse peeping. Jado, Slyvester and I could chill next to the window unit air conditioner and watch for hours.

One night, drawn by the romantic sounds of Heart's Dog and Butterfly, we creeped up to her front window. All we could see in her living room was an empty pair of male cowboys boots. This sight provoked the unholy three to run around to the back where we were rewarded with the following indelible memory.

Gayle in her glory had cleared out the dining room table and replaced it with harem type floor pillows, strawberry incense was quite present. Her face was writhing in ectasy as she rode her cowboy sans boots. HOT.

The other "G" MILF was a tall, dark brunette... picture a 70's version of a jewish Penelope Cruz. She liked to chat on the phone at night in a tiny t shirt without any bottoms. Even better was an activity we liked to call "Gwenich Mean Time" or "the gwedo".

Every night at 8:30, the unholy three met on some concrete stairs behind her trailer. I will be forever indebted to the architect who kindly put a window in the shower. Like clock work, we had a nightly full view of the cleansing accompanied by pleasuring. Who needed Laverne and Shirley, we had Gwen.

ck

MILF pt1

The first one was both my Mom's best friend and my best friend's mom. In those days, her body was in the beginning stages of rubinesque. She had three sons at that point and was on the way to a total of 5 sons. She had a french sounding first name and a feisty attitude. She would sun bathe wearing a green bikini with a heart cut out on the derriere. After a day of Alabama sun and Johnson's Baby Oil, the cut out would most certainly yield the tomato red temporary tatoo. HOT. Her hair was frosted and everyday she would make me and the brothers lunch. Sensous foods like home made egg rolls, fillet's wrapped in bacon and fried chicken breasts on top of white bread.mmmmmmmm.HOT.

clay

Psychological Thermostat

My wife, Agatha Rice, found my dad's necklace in the washing machine. I have no memory of leaving it there or even taking it off.
I am taking 40 mgs. of Prozac a day.
I started taking it because when I was met with adversity, I became frustrated and depressed.
Losing my keys would bum me out for a good two days.
Now, I lose everything and it does not phase me.

clay

Lost necklace/Seeing Stars

As I continue my grieving for my dear dad, my short term memory lapses. Last night, I returned home from a long day of work and promptly fell asleep on the couch. When I awoke...about 3AM...my dad's gold necklace which I have worn since he died had disappeared from my neck.Could not find it anywhere.

Around 7AM, I am staring out the back door and I see gold points of light jiterring against the next house.It reminded me of getting the wind knocked out or a strain. Is it a physical sign from my dad? I am sad for the rest of the day.

Clay