I recently heard about a new trend of gyms for men on the other side of the baby boom. These gyms do not have mirrors, cardio machines or scales. There are a few members of my local gym who ought to move over.
Real Live Members:
1) 3 piece suit man...yes this guy works out sporting a tie,vest and jacket.
2) eskimo sailor man...this bearded chap fancies nautical striped shirts and cardigans...there something Jack London about him.
3) drummer runner...he plays air drums with real sticks while on the treadmill.
4) super schlong man... this guy showers with the curtain open talking to everyone who passes by...I have to admit he could make Iggy Pop sweat.
5) and his side kick mini trump...he makes unconvincing cell phone calls in the locker room berating his dial tone secretary about her fuck ups.
this duo probably jointly own a 10'x10' cellar store room, but to hear them talk the might as well be the heir apparent to the Donald.
Kaintock
KICKING THE GONG AROUND
Friday, March 25, 2005
Monday, March 14, 2005
Sunday, March 06, 2005
Being Dad:Brooklyn 2005
Recently, I struggled with my daughter Gretchen to succomb to a nap. This nap would relieve us both of the agony that dear, sleepy two year olds catupult upon their fortunate parents. Hammas could take a lesson.
I strap her into the car seat and with no destination but relief from the wailing.I drive around and around pretty much the same block. The crying fades and sleep has taken her for a good hour that is if we continue to drive around.
I am settling into the quiet. I dial up Laura Cantrell's Radio Thrift Shop. All I need now is a large hot beverage.
Now, if I lived in Atlanta, I could simply drive-thru a Caribou Coffee and pick up good cup of coffee and a pastry. There is no drive-thru coffee available in Brooklyn. Well, there is McDonalds where the beverages are hot, but bad.
I pull over and park in front of Fall Cafe, they make a solid latte. Now, I am faced with my very 2005 dilema.I cannot leave Gretchen in the car. When I was kid, I was left in the car for hours as my Mom, Tallulah gossiped with the ladies at the beauty parlor or my Dad, Mason would shoot the shit with his chronies and feed the guard dogs at the used car lot.
As the snow begins to fall, my eyes are peeled for someone i know to watch gretchen for two minutes. Spotting someone is a likely since my wife, agatha knows every parent in this neighborhood. After a few minutes, I stop two strangers who are coming out of Fall Cafe and give them 5 bucks to go back and get me a latte. The could taken the money and run, but they returned shortly with the tall order. Greetchen sleeps and all is well.
CK
I strap her into the car seat and with no destination but relief from the wailing.I drive around and around pretty much the same block. The crying fades and sleep has taken her for a good hour that is if we continue to drive around.
I am settling into the quiet. I dial up Laura Cantrell's Radio Thrift Shop. All I need now is a large hot beverage.
Now, if I lived in Atlanta, I could simply drive-thru a Caribou Coffee and pick up good cup of coffee and a pastry. There is no drive-thru coffee available in Brooklyn. Well, there is McDonalds where the beverages are hot, but bad.
I pull over and park in front of Fall Cafe, they make a solid latte. Now, I am faced with my very 2005 dilema.I cannot leave Gretchen in the car. When I was kid, I was left in the car for hours as my Mom, Tallulah gossiped with the ladies at the beauty parlor or my Dad, Mason would shoot the shit with his chronies and feed the guard dogs at the used car lot.
As the snow begins to fall, my eyes are peeled for someone i know to watch gretchen for two minutes. Spotting someone is a likely since my wife, agatha knows every parent in this neighborhood. After a few minutes, I stop two strangers who are coming out of Fall Cafe and give them 5 bucks to go back and get me a latte. The could taken the money and run, but they returned shortly with the tall order. Greetchen sleeps and all is well.
CK
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